sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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