Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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