omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
