Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
