i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize