Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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