So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
