how do flat chested girls get laid?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I want to be your penis for a week.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
