I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
