glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize