check it out our google latitudes are spooning
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Found the puke drawer
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
