You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
