Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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