i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
