So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize