...so i touched it.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
