Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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