don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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