Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
No subtext here. People are naked.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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