oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize