what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
