WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
