i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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