she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize