You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
