i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I intend to get homeless drunk
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We had sex on a dog bed..
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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