also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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