i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
