Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize