Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
