Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize