bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize