sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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