I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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