We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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