READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize