Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
