yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
