I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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