she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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