Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize