I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
