I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
