you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
