she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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