oh fat girl friday strikes again...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
