i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
