whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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