i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
