We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
