is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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