i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
