I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
