I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
