she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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