Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
