He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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