Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
