it wasn't lemon gatorade
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
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