we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize