the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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