I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
