id be glad to
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
