6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
