Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
