can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
