im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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