id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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