There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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