Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize