2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Porn is love you can see.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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