I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize