Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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