the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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